I never get tired of talking about Random Acts of Kindness with couples. It all started when Jesus washed His guys’ feet and told them to go do the same.
Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages Quiz (https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language) is a grand way to discover what blesses your spouse. It is so important to learn to love your spouse or significant other just the way he or she wants to be loved. In all likelihood, it won’t be the way you want to be loved. Here’s some thought starters on how you can choose to love your partner precisely the way he or she wants to be.
Some of these will work for you and others may not. The key is to figure out what blesses your “Other” and do it often and do it well.
Not everyone loves surprises. If this sounds like you or your spouse, you might cringe at the thought of surprising each other. But before you stop reading, let me clarify. Surprises don’t have to come in the form of an over-the-top surprise party with every person you know in attendance (gag me!) They can be relatively small, simple ways to show love and appreciation or boost your level of connection. Here are 10 thought starters to get your gears turning:
1. Take care of your spouse’s usual chores without asking.
Is it normally your spouse’s job to unload the dishwasher and take out the trash? Beat them to it without a word. Everyone can appreciate when someone goes the extra mile to take something off their plate. It’s a small way to show that you notice all that they do – and you’re thankful for it! Wash-rinse-repeat!
2. Let your spouse pick the movie.
Does it usually take you two awhile to settle on something to watch because of drastically different tastes? Next time you settle in for a movie night, catch your partner off guard by agreeing to his/her first choice. You might even surprise yourself by enjoying it!
3. Join in an activity you usually pass on.
Your spouse goes for a jog early every Saturday morning, but despite their invitations to join, you usually prioritize your sleep. Surprise him/her by accepting that invitation out of the blue. You’ll get to enjoy some bonus quality time and can maybe even turn it into a breakfast date!
4. Surprise with a midday pick-me-up.
Bring lunch or have it delivered. Stop by with his/her favorite candy or coffee drink. It’s a nice way to say you’re thinking about them throughout the day, particularly in the middle of a hectic week or if you’ve been really busy lately.
5. Plan a date and take care of all the logistics.
Taking it upon yourself to plan a surprise date is great. Making sure all the little logistics are covered is even better! That way all your partner has to worry about is showing up and enjoying.
6. Gift something they mentioned in passing.
Exercise your attention to detail and take note when your spouse casually mentions something he/she would like to have or something you know they would love but wouldn’t buy for themselves. Surprise with it randomly! It doesn’t have to be big or fancy – it could be as simple as picking up a used copy of a book to read or replacing that old tattered gym bag which had been toted around for too long.
7. Get the car detailed and fill the tank with gas.
Whether your partner is a “car person” or not, most people can appreciate a clean car and a full tank, especially when it’s done for them! It’s a practical way to boost moods and even take something off the to-do list.
8. Write a sweet note and hide it somewhere it’ll be found later.
Tuck a love note or letter in a jacket pocket or nightstand for a surprise when it is least expected. Maybe make it an ongoing game between you.
9. If you have kids, take them for a chunk of time so your spouse can enjoy some alone time.
Depending on whether they like to plan in advance or are more spontaneous, you might let them know a day or two ahead of time – “Hey, I’m going to take the kids for a playdate and lunch on Saturday morning so you can have some time to yourself.” For some personality types, supporting the need for alone time can be a great way to show love.
10. Give a from-the-heart compliment out of the blue.
Catch your spouse completely off-guard with some words of appreciation or just tell them how much you love them. “I love you because_____________” works wonders. When conversations tend to be dominated by day-to-day logistical stuff, this is a sweet way to change it up.
Come on now…add to the list. Random Acts of Kindness show you have a Servant’s Heart. Start today.