Well, here is an aha for you. Regardless where you started out in marriage you came in with the cultural expectation that it would always be sweetness and light...great and chronic sex...common interests in everything...neither of you would gain weight or age...and all the other stuff you expected.
Here's a news flash for you, ALL relationships wear out. The new wears off and the nasty day to day stuff crops up and what you thought was so stops.
Frequently you blame your spouse for this. Sometimes it shows up in about 6-10 years when the new wears off and kids take over. It's just not fun any more. You stop courting each other, gain weight, stop doing what it takes to be attractive, sex becomes infrequent and often obligatory.
You begin to think the grass must be greener on the other side of some fence. Here is the awful truth. If you change partners, you get a new face, body and voice, but you will still encounter the realities of 'the new wears off...always.'
Some of you tough it out and pour all your energies into your kids...no time left for you all to address your issues. It's all about the kids.
Well, that has an expiration date on it. One day you will wake up and the kids will be gone. You are suddenly an empty nester. "Exactly who are you?"
This is another critical quitting point.
Here is a bet I can win every time...every time.
Hope you will take me up on it. It goes like this: come learn some new things about how relationships always begin, figure out what your family of origin has to do with who you choose, how do relationships always progress, how to learn to be an assertive listener, how to resolve conflict, how to have great sex again, how to make lasting memories together, and finally, learn how life can proceed if you'll learn to get rid of "What's In It For Me?" and change it to "How Can I Serve You Best?" Then go home and practice all this for 12 months.
If you'll do that, your marriage will not only last, it will thrive until the time you both put your teeth in the same efferdent glass at night...and beyond.
Wanna see if we know what we are talking about? Check us out at https://www.24kgoldmarriage.org and come see us.
