It’s been awhile since we looked at how relationships develop in this country. It’s time to do a reprise.
In the USA culture, the attraction mechanism usually begins with the viseral elements of attraction. I call them the 5 ‘goods’.
Does He/She…Look good…Feel good…Sound good…Taste good…Smell good? Well, then, this must be THE ONE for me. WooHoo!
This becomes the season of Selfishness, full of Artistic and Passionate Eroticism. Hot dog, this feels really good
Most relationships start this way–but there is a caution here which few heed. The minute the relationship becomes sexual it stops growing. It’s all about when and where and how and how often you can get naked in stacks of two. Trust me, I’m a doctor.
The child in you is the most active during this phase. I see what I like and I want it. The chase is on.
When I find THIS Mr./Ms. RIGHT–I “Fall” in love. (What generally happens when you FALL? You get hurt. Howsomever: This is my fantasy. This is my search for fulfillment. I work together with my fantasy person to perpetuate the illusion, “You are my special angel…”
The end of this stage is abrupt and always leads to Stage Two. ALWAYS. It is not a choice, it is a fact
If I decide to marry in this stage, I will learn the person I married is not the person I thought I’d married.
This is the time of ‘advertising’ and ‘catching’…on your best behavior, clean underweaar (like your Momma told you in case you had to go to the hospital), fresh showers, always fresh breath, close shave, just right touch of cologne, dressed sharply, best manners…
It’s a heady and fun period. You can talk on the phone into the wee hours and still get up and go to work the next morning with a spring in your step.
You are sweaty palmed when you get back together and cannot wait touch and feel and kiss and hug and whatever else comes to mind.
The dirty little secret of this phase of relationships is it always ALWAYS wears off, and if this is you, it will happen to you as well.
Come back next week and see what happens next.
