Nobody gets married expecting the fires of romance to peter out, but sometimes this is the reality for many unsuspecting newlyweds.
Maybe you’ve recently found yourself in a dry or distant season with your spouse, and you’re not sure how to move forward. If that’s you, I’d like to encourage you to discover and start consistently speaking the primary love language of your spouse. This will help create a positive atmosphere of change and set your heart in a direction of intentionality. If you haven’t taken Gary Smalley’s 5 Love Languages Quiz lately…well, you should. Here’s a new $20 resource. I just did it. Worth it. Then find what blesses your spouse or partner and do it often and do it well.
Additionally, here are a few more tips to keep the romance burning hot:
1. Keep talking — Sometimes when we feel distant from our spouse, we stop sharing our feelings and try to resolve conflicts by falling into an attitude of “Why bother?” Don’t make this mistake. Sure, it will take patience and persistence to maintain communication, but eventually it will pay off. Prolonged silence and stonewalling should never be an alternative to working towards differences being resolved.
2. Keep your relationship off the back burner — If you want to keep the romance in your relationship, don’t ever put your relationship with your spouse on the back burner. It may be easy to do when your lives get busy and life starts moving fast, but it won’t help grow the most important relationship in your life. Neglect is like poison to your relationship, but attention is like fertilizer.
3. Find new things to love in your spouse — When you stop being curious about the person you’ve committed your life to, you lose interest. Make it your lifelong pursuit to keep discovering the intricacies of who they are, what they enjoy, and who they are becoming. Find the goodness in your spouse rather than focusing on the things that frustrate or irritate you.
4. Get rid of potential wedges in your relationship — Root out the things that have the potential to drive a wedge in your relationship. These may be things like pride, unforgiveness, unbridled anger, or even negative words. They may also come from external sources such as negative input from family and friends, an overbooked schedule, or a toxic community. In order for love to grow strong, keep the garden of your marriage well pruned.I hope as you find the strength to apply these tips, they help you take positive steps toward the marriage you’ve always wanted.
