Archie Bunker Doesn’t Live Here Any More

I grew up in a home where my Mom did everything for us. She cooked everything except breakfast for us. She did all the laundry. She set the table and then did the dishes. (If my Dad helped with the dishes he usually washed and then told us kids that we should just “dry harder” if he missed something.) Mom changed the sheets on the beds, picked up our dirty clothes wherever they hit the floor and after washing and drying, they magically appeared folded in our drawers. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I really thought that was the way marriage was supposed to proceed and Archie Bunker became my hero. “Hey, while you are up, bring me the remote and make me a sandwich and bring me a beer!” [My Southern Baptist upbringing made all that true except for the beer.]

The most tragic part of all that was that I never understood the principle of having a Servant’s Heart in marriage. It was always about what YOU can do for me…and be quick about it.

I was not a good husband.

After too many years, God brought me The Gorgeous Redhead and I began, on purpose, to discover what it meant to serve in marriage. I can’t begin to tell you how hard that was to break those old habits…but both of us made a commitment to start.

We have been married 30 years. WOW. I am of all men most blessed. I love this pretty girl more today than ever before and I want her to have the best I have to offer.

We talk about the value of random acts of kindness…gifts, if you will. Things you can do for each other, that you don’t ordinarily do…but that you choose to do.

How does that play out at our house from my perspective? I started looking for those “gifts” that I could give my Sweetie. Here’s how it began and progressed:

  • I hate doing dishes and especially emptying the dishwasher. First thing every morning I empty the dishwasher of clean dishes and put them away and wipe down the cabinets – servant’s heart.
  • I make sure our fur baby, the red toy poodledoodle has fresh treated water for his teeth and food for the day – he thinks I’m a world class hunter – servant’s heart.
  • When my bride wakes up I make her a cup of English Breakfast tea and deliver it to her chock full of fresh squeezed lemon – random act of kindness.
  • I put my dirty clothes by the washer and sometimes do loads of laundry (makes her squeamish because I don’t always get the loads/temperature/cycles right – but I’m learning) – servant’s heart.
  • Whenever I drive her car it’s usually out of gas. I go fill it – servant’s heart.
  • I’ve learned how to be a pretty good cook and I frequently am the meal preparer – servant’s heart.
  • I frequently make the bed with clean sheets, pillow cases and duvet cover – random act of kindness.
  • pray over this gorgeous woman every morning. I want God to take good care of her and I want to live at least one day longer than she does – servant’s heart.

Final Note

I’m a slow learner, but I’m getting there. The only time Jesus told His disciples to emulate Him was when He put a towel around His waist and washed His guys feet.

What are you doing to have a servant’s heart to your

bride or hubby? Do it better, do it often and

do it better than ever before.