You’ve probably heard of the post-holiday blues, but what about a post-holiday marriage funk? The idea is the same – after a couple weeks of indulging in the parties, festivities, treats, and fixings, the return to normalcy when it’s all over can seem like a very rude awakening. If you’re both feeling moody and irritable individually, it’s not far-fetched to think you might take it out on each other – or fall into some negative relationship habits. Needless to say, this isn’t the best way to start out the new year.
Of course, this outcome isn’t inevitable by any means. Starting off strong – with intention – can set a positive tone for the coming months. Wondering how to start now? Here are 4 tips to consider, thanks. to our friends at PREPARE/ENRICH:
1. Take care of yourselves physically.
It’s common for people to let themselves indulge over the holidays, imbibing in the sweets and treats more than you normally would, staying up late, and abandoning your usual workout routine. While it’s tempting to put all the healthy choices on hold until after the holidays, taking care of your physical well-being during this time can make the transition back to “reality” a bit easier. It could be something as simple as getting out for a walk after enjoying a big meal or prioritizing a good night’s sleep (or a nap!) when you can. Not letting yourself get completely rundown over the holidays means you’ll be feeling healthy and energized to start the year, ultimately having more in your tank to invest in your marriage.
2. Set yourselves up for success.
If there are some changes you want to make in your daily life or relationship, take a little time now to pinpoint ways you can set your future selves up for success. Think of it like the little things you might do at night to pave the way for a smoother morning. They’re definitely not things you have to do, but you are always glad you did. For example, maybe you get a head start on meal planning for the first few weeks of the year, or you schedule out date nights for the first couple months. Perhaps you’re planning on making some changes to the division of household tasks or the way you handle the family calendar, so you have a check-in to ensure you’re aligned on your new system. Putting in a little extra effort now will free up capacity as things get busy again and make it easier for you to follow through on your plans.
3. Find a source of shared motivation.
Individually, you probably know the feeling of finding that special thing that sparks your motivation. As a couple, that feeling can be even more powerful! Whether you’re setting a shared goal, getting realigned on priorities for the year ahead or re-establishing the vision you have for your family and marriage, knowing you’re working toward it together strengthens your bond and puts something positive on your horizon.
4. Keep the feel-good vibes alive.
Just because the holidays are over doesn’t mean your marriage has to return to a state of mundanity. You can make your relationship embody the warmth and joy of the holidays year round. Put effort into planning dates, leave little surprises for each other, give a gift for no reason, or find something to celebrate on a random weeknight. A lot of effort goes into making the holidays feel special for kids and loved ones – your marriage deserves the same. Sure, not everyday will feel like Christmas morning, but you can make it a bright spot when things are feeling pretty ho-hum.
If you struggle with returning to real life after the holidays, you’re not alone. While it might seem like a minor problem, it becomes bigger when you consider how that can affect your relationship with your spouse. Taking a little extra time now allows you to step into the new year with a proactive mindset that will benefit all areas of your life – including your marriage.
