Lisa Penn-James offered these golden tips on a Better Marriages Group site on LinkedIn I follow. I published this back in 2015, and it’s so good I need to see it again
These are dynamite!
- “Talk to your spouse more kindly than you talk to anyone else in the world. Too often we speak the most harshly to those closest to us.”
- “He needs you to be his cheerleader. Let him know you believe he can take on the world.”
- “Forgiving means not bringing that old infraction up every time you have a new fight. Let it go.”
- “When you’re having an argument, listen to understand, don’t listen to find loopholes so you can win. Marriage is either a win/win or a lose/lose. You can’t win by beating someone else down.” (Listen without judgment…speak without criticism)
- “Make one of your favorite topics of conversation how much you admire your spouse. Tell your kids. Tell your friends. And let your spouse hear.”
Sheila Wrey Gregoire is a Christian author of 7 books and a frequent speaker to women’s groups and marriage conferences.
Don’t miss out on her fabulous blog tolovehonorandvacuum.com !
The next marriage tip is from Fawn Weaver at Happy Wives Club www.happywivesclub.com, sharing the one tool that can make your marriage happier today:
- “Your marriage is not promised another day. Today could be all you have remaining together. Someday it will be true. Think about this every single time you and your spouse part in the morning and be grateful every time you see one another again in the evening. Now is all you have. Gratitude is the gateway to happiness and being grateful for the spouse you have – right here, right now, in this moment- has the power to change your marriage forever.”
Fawn Weaver (AKA the Mrs) is the author of a New York Times Best Seller “Happy Wives Club“. On her extremely helpful blog http://www.happywivesclub.com/ , she is on a mission to find 1 million women who are living their happily ever after. Why don’t you Join her?
The next hugely important marriage tip is from Dustin & Bethany from Engaged Marriage www.engagedmarriage.com, sharing the best kept secret to mind-blowing (marital) sex:
- “Sex is not just an activity, it’s the most intimate form of communication.”
And here’s why: “I think we’d all agree that having sex with our spouse more often and in a physically satisfying way is great, but is that all there is to it? Sex is much more important to your marriage than a load of laundry, and it should be treated with the awe and respect that it deserves as an amazing means to unity and closeness in your relationship.”
I love the practical and honest advice you can find at Engaged Marriage www.engagedmarriage.com . You’ll find a ton of advice that you can use without a huge time commitment, in every area of family life.
The next great marriage tip is from the Shaunti Feldhan blog www.shaunti.com/2014/06/marriage-month-daily-tip-4-keep-score, sharing why we should actually keep score in our marriage:
- “In almost every marriage, there are things each partner is doing that are worth noticing and which will make you want to “give back” – once you do notice it! It turns out that keeping score in that way and paying that generosity forward will keep that healthy cycle going indefinitely.”
Shaunti Feldhan is the author of Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, a Harvard trained social researcher and speaker, don’t miss out on her great relationship advice blog www.how-to-save-marriage.org/best-marriage-tips/www.shaunti.com.
The next tip is from Beth Steffaniak at Messy Marriage www.messymarriage.com “, sharing the communication “tool” to handle conflicts effectively – Reflective Listening:
- “With true reflective listening you must parrot or repeat back what you’ve heard the speaker say without interpreting or putting it into your own words. You simply want to let the message enter your brain and then flow back out of your mouth. Connecting with our mates” through reflective listening – involves coming alongside the speaker, like teammates ready to tackle the issue, rather than fighting against one another.”
See a more detailed explanation and instructions on her blog post www.messymarriage.com/the-communication-tool-that-opens-hearts-and-linkup
I love Beth’s blog and you’ll love it too!
The final 4 marriage tips are from Dave Willis www.patheos.com/blogs/davewillis, the author of five books including iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage www.amazon.com/gp/product/0615822088/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0615822088&linkCode=as2&tag=thenaturalmes-20&linkId=IFF4FBQM5YF6HBXA:
- “Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling and when possible, try to keep your phone off when you’re together with your spouse.”
- “Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the “currency of relationships” so consistently invest time into your marriage.”
- “Remember that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It’s usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.”
- “Don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids or else you’ll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.”
Dave and his wife, Ashley, lead Marriage Seminars and Retreats together and create marriage-building media and content online at www.DaveWillis.org www.patheos.com/blogs/davewillis. Lots of great posts over there!
Keep your ears tuned, there will be more of these.
Keep on putting these into practice. We’re counting on YOU.