Emotional Health in Marriage: What You Need to Know…

Borrowed from two of the stalwarts in relationship education – Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott – first published September 14, 2022

Want a thriving marriage? Emotional health is a key component.
Your emotional health, and that of your spouse, can have a tremendous impact on your marriage. For better or worse, your emotional, spiritual, and psychological health all play a hand in your relationship’s wellbeing.

If you and your spouse want to be healthy individuals in a thriving marriage, you’ll need to pay close attention to your emotional health. Along with spiritual and psychological wellbeing, your emotional health can greatly impact your marriage. In fact, these aspects of your health can affect all your relationships, for better or worse.

Spiritual, psychological, and emotional health combined are attributes that help you feel a sense of significance and individual completeness. They also help you nurture selfless attitudes and happier, healthier relationships. Essentially, if you neglect to become healthy and whole on your own, you’ll spin your wheels attempting to complete yourself in every relationship.

In this post, we’re sharing some important things you need to know about emotional health in marriage. Let’s get right into it.

One of society’s greatest marriage myths is that getting married will somehow complete you. Far too many people rely on the idea of marriage to make them happy and emotionally healthy. In reality, your emotional health is your responsibility–no one else’s.

Emotional health is comprised of many parts. The way you talk to yourself, how you handle past negative events, how self-aware you are, and your level of empathy are all aspects of your emotional health. If you want to take control of your emotional health, these are the areas where you should focus first.

Because everyone has a different life experience, emotional health is incredibly complex. As you start looking at your own experience, there are two insidious, closely-linked saboteurs to look out for: fear and insecurity. Let’s look at each of these.

Fear sabotages emotional health in several ways. It’s a smooth and convincing liar, keeping us lodged firmly in our comfort zones and luring us into a state of learned helplessness. At its most potent, fear hurts our ability to be authentic and vulnerable. It keeps us from pursuing our dreams and kills our passion over time.

The good news is that when you start to recognize fear in your life, you can overcome it. Doing the right thing despite fear and worrying less about others think will take you a long way. Along the journey, remember that love is infinitely stronger than fear. Focus on doing the things love does and keep moving forward.

Like fear, insecurity can be a silent enemy. When you feel insecure, all your interactions are filtered through that lens. You’re more likely to misinterpret others’ actions and intentions. Insecurity also drives you to compare yourself with others and to be closed off to constructive criticism.

Whether You’re grappling with social insecurity or struggling specifically within our marriage, insecurity can sabotage a good thing all too easily. It’s important to try to spot insecurity early so you can tackle it as quickly as possible. Communicate with one another about your fears and insecurities so you can encourage each other whenever possible.

Whether you’re helping your spouse overcome anxious feelings or working to boost one another’s self-esteem, the two of you can work together to improve your emotional health. Depending on your individual experiences, becoming more emotionally healthy could be challenging. Still, it’s worth the effort.

As Les and Leslie like to say, your marriage is only as healthy as you are. Our book, Healthy Me, Healthy Us, takes you on a journey to better individual health (emotional, psychological, and spiritual)–with the goal of improving your relationships.