Every Couple Needs Some Private I & YOU Time
If you have spent any time with us, you know that we heartily recommend that parents work at not losing sight of their own relationship while they focus on caring for their children.
Some ways that work wonders are:
- Weekly dates…adults only. Get a baby sitter or swap out with other parents
- Monthly over night get aways…get somebody you trust to cover for you and go spend a night in a hotel or B ‘n B
- Quarterly long weekends…leave on a Friday night and come back Sunday afternoon.
Stalwarts in the Marriage and Relationship worlds are Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. They remind us that parenthood is an all-consuming role…especially when the kids are young. Daily routines trump adventure most days, and you find yourself longing for a little time alone together. You might feel a little guilty at the thought of taking a kid-free adventure together, but trust us–it’s healthy for your marriage, for the two of you as individuals, and for your kids, too!
All of us need some GROWN-UP TIME
How many of you with small children are interrupted in the nighttime with scary nightmares, requests for them to get in bed with you. Even after they’re tucked into bed, most of you are too wiped out to be grown ups and jut want to get some sleep.
So a kid-free trip takes advantage of the opportunity to have some “real” adult interaction, take the time to choose activities or go places you wouldn’t normally go with the kids. You don’t have to travel to an exotic destination. Stay close to home. Just make a date for dinner in a nice restaurant, go to a movie, or anything else you cannot do with kids in tow.
Kids always create opportunities for parallel marriages when the big folks become more like roommates than intimate lovers. You need an on-purpose commitment to RE-CONNECT.
If that sounds like you, traveling alone together is the perfect opportunity to reconnect with one another. Unplug the electronics (but leave an emergency connection so you can be alerted if there is an emergency at home) and intentionally focus on getting in sync with one another again. If you are just out to dinner, sit across from each other and give your undivided attention to your partner. No looking around and anything or anybody else.
Start your adventure off with some STRESS RELIEF exercises. Here’s a sampling of how: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhqU531xSN0.
Let go of the worries, stress, and anxiety of your daily routine and allow your body, mind, and spirit to recharge. Sleep late, eat grown up food. Move slowly. Hold hands. Look each other in the eye…often. Frequently say to one another, “I love you because_____________.” When you get back home to the kids, you’ll be ready to face the daily grind again with a renewed sense of peace.
PRIVACY & ROMANCE cannot be overstated.
Somebody once said that the greatest mechanical sexual device ever created was the lock on the master bedroom door. Need we say more? Having kids at home-especially young kids-can put quite a damper on your sex life. Soft music, no interruptions, low lights, slinky negligee, candle light…you get the idea.
Where did the FUN go?
It never leaves with a bang…just leaks out little by little https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTvU3BELZEo. If you’ve lost some of that lovin’ feeling, go have some FUN. We hope you haven’t lost the element of fun in your life and your marriage, in the throes of child rearing! But if you have, times away are the perfect times to let go and just have a good time.
One Final Note
Barb and I travel regularly to Walt Disney World in Florida to get back in touch with our inner children. We play like grown-ups in a child’s world. Our kids are grown and gone now, and we missed some of those times we could have put FUN back in our lives. Do it now before they are gone. It will be good for your kids and good for you.
There is real merit in taking care of your relationship
as a priority. We don’t think it’s optional.