I like coming back to this topic periodically and am doing it so now because my bride aka The Gorgeous Redhead just recently finished a weekend with a couple doing this very exercise and decided we needed to redo ours as well.
It works like this. Make two lists: a) things I am willing to DO for you which say “I LOVE YOU” when I do them, and b) things I would love for you do for me which tall me “YOU LOVE ME.
Rules of Engagement: 1) all items must be DOING things, easy to recognize [caveat…none can be STOP doing any something] 2) all items must be something which will be easily recognized when you do or receive them. 3) Get at least 10 items on each list.
Once finished, each of you keep the first list (what you are willing to do) and the list of (things your mate wants from you). Cut each item on the lists and put them in a ‘gift jar’.
BTW, if you are having difficulty getting full lists, let me know and I’ll send you some cheat sheets.
Now the fun part. Each day reach into your ‘gift jar’ and pull out one of the things you promised to do or one of the things your mate wants and deliver the Random Act of Kindness to your mate. If you don’t like the first one you pull out of the jar, put it back and pick another one. The rule is each of you gets a random act of kindness each and every day.
Practice this until you get good at it…and if your mate doesn’t recognize your random act of kindness, feel free to call attention to it, “INCOMING, random act of kindness.
The bow on the end of the receipt of your RAK is to be effusively grateful out loud. It’s the right thing to do, and by doing so you will encourage getting more. Go forth and prosper.