Even Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve,
and to give His life a ransom for many.
Excerpted from Mark 10:45
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We talk a lot about servant’s hearts, and when it is fairly balanced between The
Gorgeous Redhead and me it works just great.
Recently, however, I experienced a time when the servant’s heart was deeply tipped in her favor and I have become the recipient of unconditional service by my bride.
It hurts my sense of what’s right for me to lie about and have to depend on her for virtually everything in my life. I’ll explain.
In May of this year, I played in a charity golf tournament with one of our grandsons. I subscribe to the Happy Gilmore approach to golf overlaid with a Gary Player-esque step-through when I swing. People have been known to fall down laughing afterwards. I hurt my Achilles’ tendon that day and a couple weeks later did it again.
Then I really tore it carrying a bookcase into our storage shed. I barely got the ball of my foot on it and stepped down when something dreadful happened to this already banged up Achilles’. I hopped on one foot over to the patio repeating all the Sunday School words I knew and sat down. TGR, who knows everything, said she was making an appointment with an orthopod, and she did.
X-rays and a physical exam led to an MRI and surgery.
Learned two things when I came out of anesthesia. 1) I really needed to do the repairs, and 2) this is the worst of all orthopedic surgeries…likely 12 weeks incapacitation.
2 weeks in a cast on a knee scooter in an ugly boot
4 weeks with the boot and a walker with 50% weight.
4 more weeks in the boot without the lifts built in and PT
90 days from end to end
Now for the particulars:
- I’ve had to have help dressing
- I’ve had to have help showering
- I cannot go up and down stairs without help
- I have to put the boot on when I get up at night to go to the bathroom
- I cannot help with household chores
- When we travel, I cannot help carry bags to the car
- I cannot help water our flowers
- I cannot mow and edge the yard
- I cannot carry out the trash
- I cannot finish the cedar closet our son and his boys started for my bride
- For awhile I could not drive
In short, I am almost totally dependent upon Barb for everything. I have nothing to give her in return. I’m accustomed to at least some modicum of Quid pro Quo in our relationship, and here I’ve been helplessly dependent on her to care for me.
I am a pleaser by nature and to have to be a receiver is very hard for me. While this is a difficult time for me, I am blessed beyond words with a bride who serves without reciprocity or expectation.
While I struggle with my own incapacity, I am truly blessed with a mate who gets the Servant’s Heart.
Try it. It’s unconditional, without predicate and is never off duty. You’ll be amazed what it will do for your relationship.
When was the last time you went out of your way to serve your spouse?
Go get busy. Start with just one random act of kindness a day and see how many of them you can add as you get better at it. I promise, your wife or your hubby will love you for it.