There must be some new skills I don’t have…After taking my fearless assessment of what I need to do to BE a better relationship/marriage partner, where can I get get the skills I don’t have?
Here is how it begins:
· Learn to listen and communicate effectively
· Committing to using “I” messages with each other. I think, I need, I feel, I want…rather than you always and you never
· Then there is the art of Behavior Modification. You do not have to base how you behave on how you feel. You can learn how to what is best for your relationships regardless of how you feel. This is a BIG deal.
· Developing a Servant’s Heart. Oh my, this is a biggie. Instead of always focusing on the whiny ‘What’s In It For ME?’ learn how to change your focus to “How Can I Serve You Best?”
Convert your natural tendency to be reactive to frustrations and turn them into windows of opportunities for intimacy. Frustrations you see in your partner are symptoms his/her needs are not being met. Instead of taking a ‘hit’ when you see one, learn to take a step back and view the frustrations as subconscious and even unconscious windows into his/her soul. Find a ‘gift’ you can give to make the frustration go away.
Learn what blesses your partner and then do it well and do it often.
Wise couples live in this stage and can thrive for a long time.
Help can be found in SAFE CONVERSTIONS. You will learn about a 30 day ZERO Negativity challenge, a 90 day repair model, how to give affirmations, the value of surprises, the benefits of positive flooding and lots more.
Oh, and on the 30 day ZERO Negativity Challenge, here’s a start. Get a blank 30 day calendar and mark off any 30 consecutive day period. See if you can go 30 consecutive days without ANYTHING negative passing between you all. Negative things are judged by the recipient solely…harsh words, rolled eyes, snide remarks, body language. Your partner is the sole arbiter of what is or isn’t negative…period. When a negative appears, the next words out of your mouths are…”Well, I guess tomorrow is Day 1.
It’s harder than you think.
